Now, the first level which results from actual service of G-d, through Hitbonenut- contemplation and analysis, is as follows:
Through his analysis and contemplation into G-dliness, he understands the matters which he studies and recognizes them to be absolute truth. Because of this, he places great value in matters of G-dliness and Divine study, over all other matters of this lowly world. He recognizes that everything is as nothing compared to G-dliness. Therefore, he regards matters of G-dliness highly and recognizes the lowliness of worldly pursuits. Nonetheless, the essence of the matter is still far from him. He will question the necessity of the pursuit of G-dly knowledge, and will wonder, “Of what benefit is it?” This is because his study and contemplation has not yet caused any actual revelation of G-dliness in his soul. All that has been accomplished thus far is that he acknowledges the absolute truth of it.
However, he does desire that G-dliness be embedded in his soul, in a revealed way, even though, as of yet, it is still concealed. Such a person is on the correct path, and although he has not yet reached true G-dly arousal altogether, he nonetheless, values Divine contemplation highly. Unlike the previous levels, his desire is not selfish. Rather, he truly desires closeness to G-d, and that G-dliness should truly be embedded in his very soul.
The way to gauge if this commitment is true is as follows: He thinks highly of matters of G-dliness and desires that G-dliness be tangibly revealed in his soul and he realizes that he is still very far from it because of his lowly soul and past misdeeds. He feels great shame and embarrassment and is disgusting in his own eyes, because of his lowly soul and his distance from all matters of G-dliness. Because he values G-dliness so much, all worldly matters become meaningless and of no value to him. Rather, he worries that he is far from G-d, both in mind and heart. This brings about a strong resolve and commitment in him, to correct the situation by desisting from all evil and doing only that which is good and proper in G-d’s eyes, in order to prepare his mind and heart to be fitting receptacles for G-dliness, at least through the fulfillment of the Mitzvot (Commandments).
Now, as explained above, this level is not an actual level of G-dly excitement because it only comes about as a result of a desire to be close to G-d. However, there is not yet any actual closeness to G-d. Nonetheless, there is an aspect of G-dliness in it, which is apparent from the strength of his commitment. Furthermore, he is on a straight path which will eventually lead him to revealed G-dliness.
