By Rabbi Dovid Markel
The service of Purim is the reverse of Rene Descartes’ statement “I think therefore I am.”
On Purim, we are to be at a point of “Ad dlo yada” – complete lack of self-identity.
More deeply stated: We are to reach the essence of our soul, where “I am” and “G-d is,” are exactly the same thing.
Accordingly, can be understood the Talmud’s (Shabbos 88a) description of the difference between the giving of the Torah and the time of Purim.
The Talmud describes the scene of the giving of the Torah that “the Holy One, blessed be He, overturned the mountain upon them like an [inverted] cask, and said to them, ’If you accept the Torah, ‘is well; if not, there shall be your burial.’”
This created a situation where there can be “a strong protest against the Torah,” as the Jewish people never truly accepted it.
However, “they re-accepted it in the days of Achashveirosh, for it is written (Esther 9:17), [the Jews] confirmed, and took upon them [etc.]: [i.e.,] they confirmed what they had accepted long before.”
At the time of the giving of the Torah, the Torah and the Jewish people were separate entities. The Torah was merely superimposed upon their identity. On Purim however, the Jew and the Torah are one.
The ultimate expression of this unity is when our fulfillment of the mitzvos is not because of rationale. When we do mitzvos because of logic, it is the logic that is forcing us to fulfill the commandments.
Not so when we reach the level of “ad dlo yada.” In that state of unknowing, the essence of our souls comes to the fore and our fulfillment of the mitzvos is because G-d and a Jew are intrinsically bound.
At that level “I am” and “G-d is” are essentially the same thing!
May we indeed reach this level of soul-expression to the point that this becomes our conscience identity throughout the year!
