By Rabbi Dovid Markel
When Yosef and his father Yaakov are finally reunited after their many years apart from one another, the verse (Bereishit 46:29) states:
“And Yosef harnessed his chariot, and he went up to meet Israel his father, to Goshen, and he appeared to him, and he fell on his neck, and he wept on his neck for a long time.”
Rashi comments on the peculiarity of the verse’s statement, which intimates that it was only Yosef that cried, but not his father Yaakov:
“Yaakov, however, neither fell on Yosef’s neck nor kissed him. Our Sages said that he was reciting the Shema.”
While this explains the reason why he was practically unable to cry, it does not explain why Yaakov decided to recite the Shema in such a monumental moment. For, it is clear that it was not the appointed time for its recitation, as had it been, Yosef too would have been engrossed in its recitation.
The Holy Rebbe, Rabbi Zusha of Anipoli, (Zahav HaMenorah Pg. 17) explains this strange episode in the following way:
The purpose of Shema—explains Reb Zusha—is to subjugate the entirety of our identity to the Almighty. When faced with personal pleasure, a tzadik is careful to consecrate it for G-d.
In such a situation—of intense personal longing for his son—Yaakov was fearful that he would perhaps somewhat forget about G-d’s unity, and feel his own personal identity. Therefore, at that moment he focused on G-d.
This episode can be somewhat more explained in light of a similar occurrence that transpired between the 5th Lubavitcher Rebbe, Rabbi Shalom DovBer, and his son, the 6th Lubavitcher Rebbe, Rabbi Yosef Yitzchak.
When the 6th Rebbe was a baby, his father once had an intense desire to kiss his son. Instead, however, he authored a Chassidic discourse. Later, he gave this discourse to his son, referring to it as a “Chassidic kiss.”
This brings out an important aspect: It is not that one ignores their son, and instead focuses on G-d. Rather, one elevates the relationship with one’s child to be G-dly as well. For, one can imagine the dearness that the 6th Rebbe felt when he learned a discourse that was a veritable kiss from his father.
While we cannot compare ourselves to Yaakov or to the Rebbe, there is an important lesson that we are to learn in our personal lives. In our interactions with our own children, we have the ability to leave them in the mundane or consecrate them and inject them with holiness.
We must learn from our forefather and infuse holiness into our relationship with our children—it is when we kiss them with holiness that we can be sure that we make an indelible mark on their future.
