The following is a thought from Reb Tzadok of Lublin, expressing the idea that an individual’s low spiritual state actually prompts him toward spiritual growth[1].
The moments of descent found within an individual when he has no desire to study Torah and to serve G-d, are in truth, a preparation for a great ascent. When a person cries in despair upon contemplating his lowly state, this itself brings the individual to great growth.
This can be seen in the verse (Shemos 19:2) concerning the sojourn of the Israelites in the desert: “They journeyed from Rephidim, and they arrived in the desert of Sinai.”
The encampment of Rephidim was the direct opposite of Sinai. While Sinai was expressive of the greatest spiritual zenith, Rephidim was expressive of a spiritual abyss.
Concerning the encampment in Rephidim, the Talmud (Sanhedrin 106a) states: “What is the meaning of Rephidim?— R. Eliezer said: Rephidim was its name. R. Yehoshua said: [It was so called] because there they slackened (raphu) in [their loyalty to] the Torah.”
Paradoxically, the preparation for the acceptance of the Torah was specifically their slacking in the Torah, as this served as a catalyst to reach a higher state.
A similar example to this is found with the precious stones that the leaders of each tribe brought for the breastplate (Choshen) of the high priest.
The Torah (Shemos 35:27) states regarding the Shoham stones that the princes donated: “And the princes (נשאם) brought the Shoham stones and filling stones for the Ephod and for the Choshen.” Though the word for princes in Hebrew is “nesi’im,” (נשאים) with a letter “yud,” the Torah drops the “yud” and instead writes “נשאם.”
The Medrash[2] (Bamidbar Rabba 12:16) explains, that reason for this is because of the indolence that the princes had at the time of the donations to the Mishkan:
“This is what the princes said, ‘Let the community donate what they will donate, and whatever is left [to be donated] we will complete.’ Since the community completed everything, as it is said: ‘And the work was sufficient,’ (Exod. 36:7) the princes said, ‘What are we to do?’ So they brought the Shoham stones…Since at first they were lazy, a letter is missing from their name, and “וְהַנְשִׂאִם” is written [instead of “וְהַנְשִׂיאִים,”with an additional “yud.”]
Notwithstanding the lethargy in which the princes donated to the building of the Tabernacle, the Talmud (Yuma 75a) describes a tremendous miracle—that there were clouds which delivered these stones to the Israelite camp: “It was taught: [“nesi’im” here means]: clouds literally, as it is said also (Koheles 25:14): As clouds [nesi’im] and winds, without rain.”
In truth, it was specifically their initial laziness that served as a catalyst to reach greater heights. Had they initially brought the gifts as all of Israel did, they would had never awakened a profound longing for G-dliness, tapped into deep levels of their souls and merited this tremendous miracle.
Such is the way of the world. The verse (Tehillim 147:8) states about G-d, that He is the one “Who covers the heavens with clouds, Who prepares rain for the earth.” First the clouds cover the heavens and only afterwards is there rain.
When the clouds are covered and one sees no light, it is easy to become depressed. Yet, one must realize that it is specifically through the heavens being covered that brings the growth through rain.
The lesson in our lives is obvious. Instead of wallowing in our unfortunate spiritual states, we should use it as an impetus for our greatest spiritual growth.
[1] Tzidkas HaTzadik, # 151.
[2] As quoted in Rashi, Shemos, 35:27.
