By Rabbi Dovid Markel
Today marks the 15th of Av-a day in which the Talmud (Taanit 26b) exclaims that “there was never in Israel greater days of joy than the 15th of Av and the Yom Kippur.”
While the 15th of Av is particularly known as the day in which the maidens of Jerusalem would go to the vineyards in search for a suitable mate, the Talmud enumerates five events that occurred on this day.
They are: 1) That the generation of the desert ceased dying, 2) inter-tribe marriages became permitted, 3) cutting wood for the altar was completed, 4) the road blocks to the Temple were opened, and 5) the dead of Beitar were finally brought to burial.
The Talmud (Taanit 29a) teaches, “Good things come to pass on an auspicious day, and bad things on an unlucky day.” So, in a sense it is the auspiciousness of the day that causes these events, not vice versa.
Though it seems strange that it is specifically these five occurences that make up the day which is called a day of the greatest joy, understanding the shared theme and the commonality in all these events can help us appreciate the essence of true joy.
The theme of each of these events-and in Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement, as well-is a good that is in relation to negativity. Only where there has previously been negativity can one truly feel happiness. It is specifically the 15th of Av which follows the sorrowful day of the 9th of Av that can be truly classified as joyous.
The ability to rebound after the disaster, brush oneself off and find the ability to heal wounds, is the secret of joy. The light that one is able to find in a place of utter darkness is true light and happiness.
For, when in a place of failure one finds the will to nevertheless continue and be happy, it is because they have tapped into a limitless joy that is not dependent on what one has or doesn’t have.
This realization itself is able to transform all the negativity that may surround a person, so that the significance of this day affected five very different situations.
It is possibly in relation to this concept that it was specifically this day that was chosen as the one to find a marriage partner-as there is embedded in this day an important lesson about life and marriage.
What makes a good marriage partner is not perfection, but the ability to say nevertheless. To find the depth and beauty beyond external imperfections or perceived faults. The Talmud (Taanit 26b) records how the various girls directed the young men “to lift up your eyes and see” their positive qualities.
They did not claim perfection, but rather the important reality that despite their faults, one should raise themselves up a bit and see deeper. True love then, is not loving someone because they are perfect, but seeing their depth and light despite their imperfections.
G-d and Israel are likened to a groom and a bride. We too turn to G-d and beseech Him to look deep into our souls and see that in our depth we are good and G-dly, despite our external faults.
When G-d sees this depth, He will surely be overcome with love and redeem His precious bride, transforming all her negativity into blessing-with the coming of Moshiach, Now!
